


Help/less

by Fairfaxleasee



Series: Fenris/Cassia [4]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Post-Break Up, Self-Doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-25 02:54:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30082401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fairfaxleasee/pseuds/Fairfaxleasee
Summary: Varric tries to persuade Cassia Hawke to open up about what happened with Fenris.
Relationships: Fenris/Female Hawke (Dragon Age), Fenris/Hawke (Dragon Age)
Series: Fenris/Cassia [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2141970
Kudos: 4





	Help/less

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to @blondetexan and @xqueen0fhellx for betaing!

“I don’t understand it at  _ all _ !” Anders' irate whisper cut into Cassia Hawke like one of her daggers.

She was almost positive that at least the man wasn’t addressing her, but she did  _ not _ have any desire to listen to another entry in the ‘Everything Wrong with the World According to Anders’ lecture series - it had overshot her attention and patience for it  _ years _ ago. And she was dealing with enough without being subjected to a somehow completely devoid-of-analysis analysis of whatever petty inconvenience the mage was taking as a personal affront  _ now _ .

“Leave it, Blondie,” Varric hissed in response.

Anders was apparently better than Varric’s eminently reasonable advice. “But out of  _ all _ the people she could have picked!”

“I’m warning you, Blondie. Jigsaw’s been twitchy lately - I don’t think you want to poke at her. That tends to be very unhealthy even when she’s NOT twitchy…”

“I’m serious, Varric!” Anders was apparently above both reasonable advice and whispering. “What could  _ possibly _ have possessed the woman to pick the elf with anger issues - who hates mages! Her father was a mage; her sister was a mage, and she's in love with a fugitive who hates mages with homicidal tendencies?!”

_ Should have known better. _

_ He doesn’t want you. _

_ He doesn’t love you. _

_ Why would he? _

_ No one will EVER want you. _

Cass flinched as her stride broke. She bit down on her lower lip and tried to focus on the Sundermount path ahead that led to her destination - the Dalish camp and Master Ilen’s store. She really hoped Varric or Sebastian remembered what it was she was supposed to  _ get _ there... 

“Blondie, if you don’t shut your mouth very quickly, Elf’s homicidal tendencies are going to be the least of your worries!”

“But it doesn’t make any sense! There’s no possible reason for Hawke to LIKE Fenris, let alone love him!”

Cass stopped deliberately this time. She may not be able to stop her mother or the shadows and whispers in her mind from judging her about Fenris, but she wasn’t  _ about _ to just sit back and let a man who thought becoming a literal abomination was a good idea lecture her about poor life choices. “Off the top of my head, Anders - he doesn’t think he’s entitled to a line-item veto over my life.” She turned her head back a bit, but wasn’t actually looking at anything - all she could see anymore was the white-hot void of her own anger at Anders’  _ gall _ and  _ hypocrisy _ .

“I’d run if I were you, Blondie…”

“Yeah, uh… I should head back to the clinic anyway. See you around, Varric.”

“I will pray to the Maker for your soul!” Judging by Sebastian’s volume Anders had at least gone scurrying off somewhere Cass wouldn’t have to listen to him.

“But, uh… listen, Jigsaw… About you and Elf…”

“I  _ don’t _ want to talk about it, Varric!”

“I hear you, I really do, but it’s pretty clear that something happened, and -”

“I  _ said _ I  _ don’t _ want to talk about it!” That was both true and wholly insufficient; Cass was physically and mentally incapable of talking about it regardless of her aversion to the subject.

“Help me out here, Choir Boy…” Cass could barely hear Varric’s desperate plea to Sebastian.

“That’s a very pretty flower over there.” 

Good. At least Sebastian was willing to mind his own  _ fucking business  _ this time!

“Look, I know you like playing your cards close to your chest and all, Jigsaw, but you might feel better if you tell someone what’s going on. There are plenty of people who could help you-”

_ ‘Help you,’ yeah right. _

_ They just think they can fix you. _

_ But they can’t, can they? _

_ You’re too broken to be worth bothering about.  _

_ And that’s assuming it’s even possible to fix something that was born wrong. _

“I’m fine; I don’t need help; I’m not  _ talking _ about it!” Cass turned and stomped completely though the Dalish camp. She wasn’t  _ about _ to head back to Kirkwall and her mother, but she could find some place to lurk where people wouldn’t follow her to do stupid, useless things like try to help her.

\------------------------------------------------------------

Varric watched Jigsaw tear through the Dalish camp. He supposed he and Choir Boy could get the tattoo ink they’d come out for (although of all the things that apothecary in the Gallows could have asked Jigsaw to track down, it just  _ had _ to be tattoo ink, didn’t it) but he had a sneaking suspicion she’d completely forgotten about the errand.

_ Well, at least she and Blondie won’t run into each other on their way back to Kirkwall… _

Varric turned to follow Blondie’s way back to Kirkwall. He wasn’t quite sure exactly how mad Jigsaw was - and at who - but he wasn’t in a hurry to find out. “You coming, Choir Boy? This might have been a wasted trip, but there’s no reason to waste more time.”

“Oh, I don’t know that it was a  _ wasted _ trip, Varric. I quite enjoyed the walk.”

_ Stupid Chantry Choir Boy, has to see a sliver lining in EVERYTHING… _

Varric and Sebastian walked back in silence for a bit before Varric, unsurprisingly, couldn’t take it anymore, “You know I could have used your support back there? You’ve seen how Jigsaw’s been lately.”

“She has seemed quite distressed, however questions about Fenris just seem to distress her more, Varric.”

Varric let out a soft tsk. Choir Boy was right, of course. Varric hated that about the man. It wasn’t fair for someone to be so boring AND so right about things. “So you’re telling me you’re not worried about Jigsaw  _ at all _ ?”

“I… no. I can’t say that. Many of the injuries she’s been getting lately, like that bruise on her cheek, are quite concerning. But she’s equally unwilling to talk about them.”

Varric rubbed his forehead, he’d been hoping he was just imagining that. “Well, talking’s about all I’m good for, so if that’s out, do  _ you _ have any brilliant ideas about what we could do about this? Elf’s just as twitchy as Jigsaw is lately and they’re usually the only ones who can get through to the other.”

“I believe we should trust that the Maker will see them through.” Sebastian smiled at Varric with the declaration.

Varric blinked in disbelief, “Look, Choir Boy, I get that you were late to the party and all, but assuming there  _ is _ a Maker, he hasn’t been that great to either one of them. Not to mention they need  _ way _ more help than that.”

“Have you considered that he was just laying those challenges before them so they would have the strength to get through this?”

Varric shook his head, “I  _ dare _ you to say that with Jigsaw within earshot.”

“Ha! I’m afraid I’ll have to refuse that particular challenge, Varric. I have tried persuading her to embrace Andrastanism, however she found my arguments largely lacking. And I may be ‘late to the party’ as you say, however I  _ have _ managed to observe just what happens to people who re-hash arguments she considers specious or fallacious to her without correcting what she considers the errors.”

“Well, it’s good that Blondie didn’t sacrifice his ego for nothing.”

“Considering he still tries to argue with the woman, I’m not sure I agree that he sacrificed anything in the first place.”

Varric had to admit, Choir Boy had a point about Blondie. But he still wasn’t willing to let him off the hook about Elf and Jigsaw. “So you’re really okay with doing  _ nothing _ to help them?”

“I believe Hawke made her disinterest in assistance fairly clear, and Fenris has said nothing to indicate he’s seeking any either. And you can’t help someone who isn’t ready to be helped. So, until one of them asks, I will wait, and pray, and trust in the Maker. However if one of them does ask, I will do what I can to assist, as their friend or as a Chantry Brother.”

“Well, they both could use all the friends they can get; neither one of them is about to win any popularity contests. Too bad most people aren’t as suicidal as we are to get close enough to figure them out.”

“You think you have Hawke figured out?”

“Alright, fine, figure Elf out and solve about a third of Jigsaw; but that wasn’t the point I was trying to make, Choir Boy.”

“Oh?”

If Varric didn’t know the man had no sense of humor whatsoever, he’d  _ swear _ Choir Boy was messing with him, “No, it wasn’t. Even  _ if _ Jigsaw finally admits just how much help she needs with Elf, you’re  _ never _ getting her into a Chantry. Elf, maybe, but  _ never _ Jigsaw.”

“Never is quite a long time, Varric.”

“Tell you what, Choir Boy, if you can ever prove that Jigsaw  _ willingly _ set foot in a Chantry for the sake of going to the Chantry, I will do anything you ask me to.”

“Really? Even tell me how Bianca got her name?”

“Well, I’d have to swear you to secrecy first, but, given it’s never going to happen, sure. Even that. Prove to me Jigsaw went into a Chantry of her own volition because she  _ wanted _ something the Chantry could do, and I’ll do any one thing you ask. But in the meantime, I’m going to work on making Elf crack.”

“You wouldn’t be trying to get out of our agreement, would you? Do something to get yourself killed so you won’t have to make good on the wager?”

“So help me, Choir Boy, if you’ve had a sense of humor this entire time, I will never forgive you!”


End file.
